Terra
by Shatteredwing
Summary: Terra's back, but she has to find herself. And in order to do that, she has to go off on some adventures of her own.
1. Chapter 1: Back to the Light

There was silence. It was an eerie thing, the way nothing moved or rustled. Nothing had moved within her stone prison for she knew not how long. The rock had encased her, slowly becoming her. Time was not a factor to Terra anymore. She couldn't tell if it was day or night, or if it had been days or years since it had happened.

Even as rock, her heart cried out for Beast Boy. How could she have done that to him-to any of them? They had trusted her. How could she have been so wrong? These thoughts, though, were her real punishment. Being trapped with only her thoughts for so long caused the real pain. Images flashed through her mind in a myriad of colors, her imagination running wild with what could be happening outside her encasement. She could not know, and that tortured her deep inside.

Sometimes, Terra seemed to feel Beast Boy, or another Titan outside of where her rock form stood. She longed to cry out to them, to tell them how sorry she was; to beg their forgiveness. She could not, no matter how hard she tried.

She could still feel within her rock, and had once felt Beast Boy's tear, a chrysalis of crystal, drop with a gentle plink onto her stone foot. At that moment, she wished with everything she had left for him to be with her. She wished to be in Beast Boy's arms again, and she wished that she had never met Slade, or betrayed the Titans. She sighed inwardly. Wishing did no good, she thought to herself. She had learned that long ago.

Once, when she was very little, she had been told that silence was a good thing. That if you were absolutely silent, you would be able to hear the spirits of the earth whispering in your ear. Here, the silence was so terrible that it pounded in her ears, eating away as much of the remaining spirit Terra had as it could.

She could no longer stand it. The silence was too great. Faster and faster it pounded, coming closer and closer like a train with no brake. Any second now she was going to lose it. The delicate connections within her stone self would break and…

She was floating. Nothing seemed real here. Puffs of mist encircled her, crying out to her, whispering their sad story. Nearby, a raven let loose its unmistakable call, causing an ache in Terra's heart. She would never see any of them again. Her hair would never have its blonde luster back, but would remain a dusty grey forever. Waves of indigo color would never again lap themselves against the dark black of her pupils; instead, her eyes would remain blank and glassy.

She let her mind wander, and it found Beast Boy. Had he truly forgiven her? After all she had done? His name rang through her mind, bouncing off of every corner.

If it was possible, tears would have been silently slipping through her eyes. It seemed as if nothing in the world would ever go right for her again. But then, there was light.

It had to be at least three quarters of a minute before Terra actually realized she wasn't stone anymore. She kept telling herself it wasn't true, that she could not possibly be seeing light after so long. Somewhere deep inside her heart though, she knew. That little piece of her guided her eyes, and slowly lifted their lids.

The world was blurry at first, her eyes going in and out of focus. It was as if light was new to her, her pupils kept dilating to different sizes. Finally, her eyes adjusted, and she saw around her the five faces of the Teen Titans, peering down at her. There was Robin, a rather confused look in his eyes, then Starfire, who looked worried, of course Raven, who was trying to avoid her eyes, Cyborg, who had a smug look on his face, and Beast Boy.

The look on his face was a mixture; it held worry, fear, love, and a tiny tinge of regret. Terra knew that the regret was her fault. If her body had permitted her, she would have leapt into his arms at that moment. But all she could do was blankly stare at the ceiling.

It took a while for the Titans to realize that Terra was actually awake, and no longer stone. She couldn't read the look on Robin or Raven's face, but Starfire leapt with joy and Terra heard Cyborg muttering something about how he knew by long periods of research and examples that this method would bring her back…and so on and so forth.

'So that's why he was looking smug,' Terra thought to herself happily. Slowly, as though she was putting off the moment, her eyes traveled to Beast Boy. Her heart jumped as his eyes met hers, and they shared a moment of true bonding. As soon as she could speak, she would tell them all exactly how sorry she was, and exactly how much she regretted what she had done in the past. She hoped and prayed that she would be forgiven, but until then, she was just going to enjoy being alive once more.


	2. Chapter 2: Away

Chapter 2: Away

(Wow! I got such a positive response to this piece, so I have decided to continue it. Thank you so much to my editing committee (you know who you are) and everyone who has given me such great reviews! And for those of you who wanted Terra to be accepted, don't worry. That will come in it's own time. So without further ado, I present to you Chapter 2 of Terra: Away)

Terra was once again enveloped in the dark. It seemed to emanate from every corner of her mind, destroying any light that it could find. Deeper and deeper the ebony sank, until she was once again locked in her stone prison.

The silence was back, emanating from the nothingness that surrounded her. At first, her brain was paralyzed with shock. Then the full reality that she was stone again hit her. It seeped into her soul, her mind registering the cold.

Through her panic, the calm, collected corner of her mind felt the uncanny irony. The girl that sought out a place to rest her head was now cold, lifeless, and covered in gray marble-like stone...

"No!" she shrieked, sitting straight up in bed.

Tears coursed down her cheeks, and her torso was wracked with sobs. Her shoulders shuddered as she tried keeping the tears in. Wiping her eyes, she waited for her breathing to regulate.

A shadow fell across the doorway and Terra looked up through bleary eyes. Beast Boy's image swam in her vision, his face etched with concern. The tears continued to fall from her eyes, flowing like the river of life itself.

He sat down on the bed with her, his eyes probing her, trying to figure out what was wrong. She pressed herself into him, letting her head fall onto his chest. Looking up at him, her eyes big and full of innocence.

Beast Boy knew right away what had happened. It was laced together in her glowing eyes, her emotions throbbing through them.

"BB, I'm really scared," she whispered, closing her eyes to keep the tears in. She didn't want to look helpless in front of him.

He didn't ask any questions; just stroked her hair and murmured reassurances to her. Terra cried her heart out, tears making wet splotches on his shirt. Finally, when she could cry no more, she sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I must look ridiculous," she whispered wetly, sniffling.

"Terra, no. You've been through a lot. I understand."

His eyes were so filled with love...love for her...that it made her want to burst into tears again. Come on," Beast Boy whispered, helping to pull Terra to her feet, "You need some breakfast. You can't function on an empty stomach you know."

Terra smiled weakly, grateful to have him there beside her. Still in shock from the nightmare, her legs shook uncontrollably, and she collapsed.. Beast Boy ran to her, putting his arms around her, helping her stand up. Terra forced another smile, wishing she didn't have to force it.

"I guess I'm still a bit nervous," Terra said quietly. The concern returned to his eyes.

"About what?"

Terra winced softly, wishing she hadn't chosen those words. She was hesitant to ask but she knew she had to.

"Will...they be there?"

"The other Titans? Maybe," He stopped, and looked into her eyes, probing her soul. "What's wrong Terra?"

Her eyes began to swim with tears again, but she defiantly pushed them back.

Taking a deep shuddery breath, she said, "I...I...I don't think they'll accept me anymore."

Beast Boy took her hand, and squeezed it tightly, as a comfort and as a guide.

"Terra, that's your past. What you did was wrong, but you turned yourself into stone to save us. They respect you for that. Think about it logically. Would we have all tried to bring you back if we hated you?"

Although she hated to admit it, BB was right again"Right twice in a day," she murmured, "That must be a record for you."

His smile broadened to a grin and they went out of the room towards the main room to eat.

At the table, the Titans shifted in their seats. Robin stared intently at the wall, Cyborg's eyes went from the ceiling to the wall to the floor, and Raven and Starfire just seemed to push food around on their plates. Even Beast Boy averted his eyes.

She couldn't take it anymore. The silence was killing her. She could feel the terrible sorrow pulsing out of her soul, and with a final whisper of "I'm so sorry," she ran out of Teen Titans Tower.

She didn't know where she was going but she knew she couldn't stay here. She kept running, the trees flying by her and her indigo orbs filled with unfallen tears. The clouds above were dark, casting the land below them into shadow. A single drop of rain fell from them, mingling with the one stray tear that Terra couldn't keep in.

She didn't belong there anymore, that she knew. It was apparent by the look on each Titans face, as they had struggled not to look at her.

The rain came in torrents now, plastering her billowy blonde hair to her head. Though she had cried herself out, the aching feeling still gnawed at her heart. A feeling of deep passion, and yet fear mixed in.

Guilt.

Terra hated to admit she felt guilty. It was a horrible feeling and she had felt it so many times before. She had felt it when she saw the horrified faces of the Titans when they realized she had betrayed the. She had felt it when the hurt in Beast Boy's eyes had pierced her own soul. And now, she had felt it at the table, when none of them could so much look at her.

And yet, she knew, deep inside, that they would come after her. It was what friends did for each other, even if there was no way to explain why they had come. They just…would.

The sky above, though dark, reflected a myriad of colors, each one beckoning Terra, telling her not to go back. That running from her pain, destiny and past was the answer to all her problems

Soon enough, Terra was where she couldn't tell where she was anymore. But, she thought, all the more reason to go on. The tears seemed to blur her reality focus, the delicate barrier that kept her from her own wrath.

The pearlescent moon shone through the dark clouds, just as the tiniest glimmer of hope shone through the dark cloud of despair covering her. And although she was moving, she felt as alone as she had when she had been locked in stone.

As the rain poured down, she forced her legs to go faster.

Away from her friends.

Away from what she loved most.

And away from the place she had once called home.


	3. Chapter 3: Beyond

(It's been forever since I updated this, I know. It always got pushed to the back of my mind, other things taking up its time. I actually wrote most of this months ago and recently found it stashed into one of my many notebooks. I have this notorious habit for slow updating, which I hope to change. The good news is that I've probably grown as a writer in the months between my last update and now. So here it is, at last. Chapter Three: Away)

Shards of liquid diamond poured from the clouds; the delicate mix of rain and ice forming in Terra's own heart. The silent cold froze her tears and emotions, binding them together in a knot of numbness. Should she just end it now? She couldn't live this way anymore; she needed forgiveness.

She gazed at her messenger bag thoughtfully, then, a look of determination flooding her eyes, she pulled out a small pocketknife. Almost on an impulse, she gently slit her finger, biting her lip against the pain. She watched intently as a tiny crystalline drop of crimson edged beyond the skin and dropped with a gentle plink into the clear water of the lake she was crouched over.

Once within the crystal liquid, the little drop shed it's solidified form and began to branch out. It elongated; wisps of blood fully immersed in their new environment.

Terra watched it desperately, fighting to be one with that drop. If only she could shed her body, shed it and soar with the wind. To become the essence of time, to go beyond all worldly boundaries…

She gazed at the sparkling platinum of the blade and fought the desire to hold it against her neck, to feel the warmth of her blood coursing down in a crimson necklace of death.

She held it, held the knife in her trembling hands and knew she never could. She couldn't sentence her beloved Beast Boy to a life of misery; after all he had done for her. After the way he had loved her. Her choice could destroy his life. She couldn't.

A small sigh that mingled with the breeze squeezed through her lips as she pocketed the knife and gazed into the lake in front of her. Her reflection stared back at her, the waves of indigo color in her eyes frozen with hatred.

_It's all your fault. You almost killed them. You can never be good Terra. You were born to be evil. Do not fight your own destiny. No one can stop what is destined to be. _

"No!" she cried, splashing at the cruel image that both was and was not her own. Even though her reflection was shattered, reduced to mere ripples, the voices continued.

_They hate you, Terra. You can see it in their eyes. They know you can never change. They will never forgive you for what you've done. It is too horrible to be forgiven. You are evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. _

"No," Terra mouthed, her voice frozen. She wasn't evil. She couldn't be. Her world began to spin, dazzling her with myriads of whirling color. She wasn't…

"Evil," Terra murmured as the dance of colors slowly faded to waiting darkness.

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Pain. Beast Boy knew it well, most of all his heart. He felt it now, throbbing deep in his core. An emptiness that throbbed with anguish, a hurt that couldn't heal. A hurt that only Terra could cause.

A gentle shuffling rattled his eardrums and he looked up, green eyes sad but tinged with hope. The tall alien princess hovered near his desk, her lamp-like eyes fearful. She opened her mouth to say something, perhaps a condolence, but thought better of it and flew out of then den.

Beast Boy sighed. He couldn't blame the Titans for acting the way they were. After all, Terra had almost gotten them killed. Attempted murder is not an easy crime to forgive. He had only accomplished it because his love for her smothered any other emotions he might feel towards the blonde earthmover. If it had been a different Titan, perhaps he would feel the way he was sure they felt now.

At least they had the decency to look chagrined after Terra's early morning flight, Beast Boy thought, flicking a piece of green hair out of his mossy eyes. Even Raven had apologized, though somewhat reluctantly. The happiness that blossomed in his heart at their apologies wilted as he realized that they were for his benefit rather than Terra's.

Anxiety flickered through his troubled oculars, rippling throughout his whole body. Where was Terra? Was she okay? Was she hurt? Where had she gone? These questions tormented him, bouncing through his mind. Was it his fault? This question troubled him the most. The thought of Terra's life ending because of him was enough to make his own heart skip a beat.

Anger washed into his eyes like water rushing over a floodgate into a dry riverbed. Terra would be fine! She was strong. She didn't need him trailing after her wherever she went! If she wanted to leave the Titans, leave him, then fine. That was her choice.

He sighed for the millionth time that day. His eyes were weary and premature wrinkles creased his forehead. His heart ached, ached for its medicine. Ached for Terra.

He transformed into a little green mouse, a squeak echoing from within him as he dropped to the floor. His color was slightly duller than usual and his eyes lacked their normal luster. He scurried across the enormous wooden planks and under his bed.

The familiar musty smell of pine and dust enveloped his sensitive nostrils. Beast Boy scurried over what seemed to be mountains of junk until he finally reached the entrance. He scurried through the little hole; eagerly awaiting what he knew would enrapture him.

A dim light in the corner was the only thing that penetrated the dark vastness of the small interior. A picture of Terra, grinning for once, encased by a gilded frame was the centerpiece of the shrine. A lock of her blonde hair was splayed on the floor, serving as a bed for the weary mouse. Beast Boy scuttled over to it, settling quickly into its loving warmth. He took deep breaths, trying to catch any lingering scent of her. His Terra.

Gazing at her bemused smile, he thought of the day the small shrine had been constructed. Cyborg had been rewiring Beast Boy's electricity when Beast Boy had made the strange request for a small hollow area big enough for a mouse. Cyborg obliged and, at that point, Beast Boy had placed his sacred artifacts of Terra within, before the robot closed it up. He had mentioned it to her and it was sort of a game between them to see if Terra could figure out where the shrine was.

A small smile echoed in the eyes of the grassy mouse as memories misted over his vacant eyes. _Terra._ Her eyes, her vainglorious circlets of pure indigo gazed down upon him, willing him to jump into the picture with her.

His thoughts filled the room, bouncing off the corners, metamorphosing into daggers, stabbing him mind as they rebounded back. _Terra. I can't find you. I'm lost. Help me, Terra. Find me. _


End file.
